Day 12 - Newness and circles

RULE 10: EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE


So, coming from keeping busy to just saying yes, this is a pretty clear graduation. My day began early for work and continued in a frantic bet to complete this campus challenge on time. I have realised that I am somewhat of an enabler when it comes to team work, and knowing this made me happy - for future interviews and the like, I know my role; I can accept it and fall into it quickly. Knowing thyself might not really be the core of wisdom, but it does make a difference


Respite finally came when I went to visit an old friend who I hadn't seen in almost a year. Yummy food, excellent conversations (and pretty good music, as I dubbed myself DJ) coupled with the best tea ever allowed for rejuvenation of the soul. But this was only the beginning. Leaving the house, we ventured into the cold, cold night (there were diamonds on the pavement), off to a Christian Union Meeting.

This just made me laugh, but also echoes social circles due to Venn aspect

Now understand, I used to be a part of the CU, fulfilling the role of the treasurer. But, while everyone was truly lovely, I never had a huge desire to integrate, communicate and just conjugate with the little community. It was my own fault - I never really tried to get to know anyone. But tonight was brilliant, and I think all that changed was my attitude - I just say yes. 


We talked about prayer and got totally excited about future plans for instigating  a 24/7 prayer room/week/movement in Cork/UCC. I got shivers for most of the meeting. And now I have countless overtures of friendship which shall hopefully be followed through with, to which I intend to reciprocate. The loneliness that so often threatens to overwhelm me at night, has shriveled and dissipated, at least for now.


Progress has been tremendous, God is good. But I will still allow myself to feel sad, to feel regret or anything else. I refuse to bear a front or be stupidly brave, just as I refuse to fall apart. It is not necessary. Memories once treasured, are slowly being locked away, shrinking in importance. And although they will always have some little feature - time is worth remembering, the hold that was once so undeniable in my life is being broken, releasing me, and giving me freedom. Maybe this paints a dark picture of the relationship before, and I don't intend for this to be the case - I just think that the retrospective glance, enhanced, shows up shadows I couldn't see at the time.